People of the X!

Disclaimer: This is not copying X-Men in anyway, shape or form! In case you can’t read this is called: People of the X! Silly!



It was a beautiful sunny day at the People of the X school for gifted students, or POX school. The team was awoken by a loud bell signaling ‘first period’. You see while these ‘students’ moped around school pretending to learn (some better than others) they were really on the lookout for the RARs (Really Annoying Republicans).

As Phoenix, sporting awesome red hair, scanned the school with fellow ‘Person of the X’ Psylocke, who with her telepathic powers could scan for any conservative thoughts, they discussed their concern about the growing RAR population. For some time now, she had been worried about her current boyfriend Archangel. Could it be he was betraying everything the People of the X stood for? She soon found out that it was Apocalypse (A.K.A. ApocaRussak) who had stolen his wings and turned him into Death. Phoenix and Psylocke decided that they must find ApocaRussak before it was too late.

Not without obstacles did they embark on their quest. First they met up with Calisto, former friend turned RAR. She had been transformed when she began dating one of ApocaRussaks men: Sabastian Shaw (a native of a Kansas nudist camp). They tried to convince her that gun control was the right thing to do and that the environment should take first priority, but it was clear Sabastian had brainwashed this poor soul. Another perfectly good POX had been tainted. Therefore, they had to capture her and send her to the school where she would receive shock therapy as she saw anything to do with Kansas or Nudist Camps.

While Calisto had been an easy match, Phoenix and Psylocke knew they needed help. They quickly found Storm. With her crazy blonde hair (that she CLAIMS her straightening iron won’t flatten) she joined up with the POXs. Even with three though, they were worried. They knew next they must fight Candra: she was such a RAR and she wasn’t even brainwashed. They found Candra relatively quickly. She was spraying cans and cans of hairspray in her hair, CLAIMING it was for looks when everyone knew she was just trying to deplete the Ozone layer and kill as many possible living beings as she could. And as she strutted around in her American Eagle clothes, Psyclocke jumped up and down in digust. This was the last straw. She attacked Candra with all her might, but to no avail. It was she who perished. Candra had her tied up in giant oversized American Eagle jeans. And as she felt her metal powers draining (for it was her cute Abercrombie clothing that gave her power) she called out to Phoenix and Storm in her last breath: Rescue Archangel for me! But beware…. Beware of the Vulcan!

“Who was this Vulcan?” Phoenix wondered, but she had no time to give it too much thought. She had to move on with her quest. They had made it to the RAR headquarters and quickly fought off the incompetent Sabertooth (well mostly it was just Phoenix. Storm couldn’t stop staring at his greasy striped hair. “How did it get so greasy and striped?” she wondered)

As they approached the throne room where AppocaRussak sat, they noticed they were surrounded by huge ‘W’ signs that showed horrible pictures of mining Alaska. “This is wrong,” said Storm. “Very wrong!”

“Well you’ve found my humble abode,” started AppocaRussak. “It only a taste of what I have planned. Once I’ve completely destroyed the environment, I plan to stupidify everyone with horrible grammar and dress them all up in American Eagle clothes! Mwa Ha Ha Ha!”

“But wait! What about Canada!” shouted Phoenix, her voice raising slightly.

“It will perish like the rest!” An evil grin spread across AppocaRussak’s face. Obviously he was pleased with his own evilness.

“We’ll never let you!” shouted Storm!

“You have yet to meet my secret weapon. Enter the Vulcan!”

As a man walked in, around 5’9 with light brown hair and blue eyes, Phoenix was astonished to see that something so good looking could be so conservative and close-minded. She didn’t really care though. She knew that she could save him and make him liberal if she worked really hard. There would just be some excessive shock therapy involved. While Phoenix stood dead in her tracks, Magneta walked in from behind and tackled Storm. Magneta was a very lost and confused mutant. She had recently been put into a concentration camp for being 1/140000000000000000 Jewish and now she felt she needed revenge on the rest of the world. Her scheme: to pretend to be as liberal as possible, then poison everyone with her multi-colored goldfish which she dealt out generously.

Knowing her friends were in trouble Phoenix momentarily forgot about Archangel and brought down Magneta. After that AppoccaRussak was no problem as he was weak and full of him self. Then Phoenix saved Psylocke her was trapped in a block of ice, and brought back Archangel, Calisto, Candra, and of course Vulcan. (She left Magneta because she was so disturbed she was afraid of what the shock therapy might do to her). Finally (once Psylocke was restored of course) Storm, Phoenix, and Psylocke were able to save Archangel and Vulcan who are now active POXs and SUPER GREAT boyfriends. Calisto was of course reconverted back to liberalism and now her only enemy is Terrible Tori who dates this squid man using mind control (he really loves Calisto) and she doesn’t even think about Kansas anymore! (YAY!) They keep Candra tied up in a white room with padded walls (she has to wear all Abercrombie clothing too!).

THE END